Excuse me now for rambling.
I just find myself getting sentimental lately because my sweet little man is growing oh so fast.
And it pangs me. It really does.
He's so sweet and innocent. His big blue eyes watching everything.
And he's so smart and observant.
I realize I'm his mother and maybe a bit partial but, just watching him learn everyday just makes me tear up.
I so want to protect him from this world.
I mean, as a child I remember tons of great memories..but it's later in life that it gets hard.
People can be mean, and sometimes you learn to be mean back.
You make mistakes, people hurt you, you hurt others...
It's just a vicious cycle....
And it's something I wish with every bone in my body and ounce of my flesh that I could prevent from happening to my son and future children.
I just look at his sweetness..his sweet, chubby cheeks,
his adorable chunk legs,
the dimples on his elbows...
All those sweet little reminders that he's young, fresh and new...(and slightly chunky-which I adore!)
Sure, it's not a newborn.
But he's still so protected and beautiful that I'm afraid of what the world will do to him.
I'm sure to a lot of non-mothers (and maybe some mothers) I sound like a complete nut.
But, my heart just breaks for children and babies.
Our world can be so cruel and ugly and it can take something so precious as a child and turn it bad and ugly.
I know a lot of it is parenting but sometimes things outside of parenting happens that we can't prevent.
I mean, I had amazing parents but I failed more times than I'd like to admit.
I made so many mistakes in my life I would never want my own children to make.
I just cherish these sweet moments.
As I watch him sleep in his crib,
listening to his sweet breathing...
I kiss his soft blonde, baby hair (that I never want to cut)
and breathe in his baby scent.
Ah, he always smells so good--just like a baby should.
And I know, he's not a baby--he's a toddler.
And growing up fast.
And I wish everyday I could press pause on these sweet moments...
because with every kiss I steal from him I realize it's just getting closer to the days where I
can't forever steal kisses from him.
You know, those times when he'll be a teenager and embarrassed of his mother?
Those nights where I can't sneak into his room and watch him sleep...
Of course, I sit here like a crazy woman, crying as I type this...
It's amazing what happens when you become a mother.
Nothing in the world matters besides your children.
Your heart truly is outside of your body.
Everything you thought you knew and understood about love is gone....
Because love and joy comes from seeing a sweet, innocent child--
one whose been made in the likeness of God--
a precious jewel,
a rare flower,
eager to learn
to see and to do...
to play and to run and to climb....
This sweet child is YOUR responsibility to teach about God's love...
to teach that they are forever loved.
That they are safe and protected.
That no matter what, you'll always be there for them.
It's my job to lead as an example,
to give,
to be kind,
to be gentle,
to stand up for what's right,
to teach God's word,
to pray with him,
to guide him.
Watching Kie grow everyday....
wow, nothing in this world could possibly give me more joy than being a mother.
And never in my entire 23 years leading up to my delivery could I prepared my heart and soul for what I feel now.
Ahhhhh, ok...
Enough tears.
:)
I do have some funny stories to share soon.....
Including the time I let my husband cut off a foot of my hair.
Yep,
my husband.
Happy Friday y'all!
Love,
-HK-
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