Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Insomnia, part 2

I'm calling this blog Insomnia, Part 2....because I wrote a blog in June (click to read) about another time I was having problems sleeping.  Except then, I was pregnant.  This time around I really should be able to sleep anytime, anywhere since sleep is one thing my life definitely lacks.

Kie woke for his usual feeding at 1:30am--and I've been up every since.  In fact, I'm sure I'll stay up till his next feeding--due in an hour or so.

I just have a lot running in my head tonight!  Everything from the sermon this past Sunday to redesigning/redoing our house, to school districts for Kie (when he's grown) to family issues and the usual daily stresses of life like: when will I get the house cleaned, how I need to get the laundry done, what will I cook for dinner tomorrow, what bills do I need to pay?!

Not to mention...Justin's mom is coming in the following weekend.  And I'm wondering what we'll do when she's here, what I'll cook or will I cook, what she'll think of us as a family....?!

See, I've met her once. Just once! And when I did meet her...Justin and I were not married.  In fact, she probably thought I was just another girlfriend.

How could she of taken me seriously because I'm 11 years younger than my husband.

Yes, I married a much older man.  However, it's crazy how compatible me and J are.  He is young at heart.  He is so very in shape and the man can literally run circles around me and anyone I know.  In fact, I dated a guy younger than me once and HE seemed to be pushing his 60's.  He never wanted to do anything fun, never go out and he was b-o-r-i-n-g!

I met Justin when he was 33.  He was the most fun and interesting man I've ever known!  I mean, in the first two weeks we were dating he took me SKYDIVING! Literally one of our first dates.

Anyway, I digress.  My point it...his mother met me and probably thought I was just going to be a fling.  Thing was, when I met her I knew I was in love and going to marry her son.  Regardless of his age, or anything else for that matter.

Of course that's been over a year ago we met and we've developed a relationship through calls, emails and lots and lots of mail!  She loves to send (spoil) me, Justin and especially Kie.  I love getting packages from her.

So, we'll see how things go.

NEXT Topic....

It is WHAT I'm loving Wednesday!

Without further ado, here is what I'm loving right this instant (at 3:45 Wednesday morning!)
to play link up here! At Jamie's Blog. This Kind of Love.  

1. I'm loving my family of three.

I love having two men in my life. My husband and my son.
I grew up with brothers, whom I adore.  And I always wanted a son.  And God graciously blessed me with one.  I knew I'd be good with boys since I was use to growing up with them.  Of course, one day we may have another baby and I'd be thrilled to have a girl as well.  But, really I'm so excited I have a little boy.  Watching him with his daddy is one of the biggest joys I've ever experienced in my life!  

2. I LOVE Sunday sermons.
I love my church so very much.  I feel like every service and Sunday School lesson is exactly what I needed to hear.  

This past Sunday really opened up my eyes and heart.  The service was over the two biggest commandments in the Bible.  Jesus said "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.  This is the GREAT and first commandment.  And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself."  Matthew 22:37-40

I know it's a verse that MOST people know by heart.  I had it drilled in my head from my days in VBS.  But, I guess I really just needed a reminder of it.  Also it meant more to me now than ever.  Of course I love God, but really I need to love God more.  In a more personal and intimate way.  Like the way I love my son or husband.  Perhaps it's because I'm older or more so because I'm now a wife and mother.  The way I love now is totally different than I ever had before.  I now have a better understanding of unconditional love.  Because I truly have this love for my son.  I practice it with my husband, but I have not mastered it to say the least.  Of course I love my husband, regardless.  But it's easier to act like I don't when I get mad or angry.  
Anyway, I need to learn to love God with everything in me.  Not to love Him like He is this big massive, invisible God. But instead a God that is there for me ALL the time.  My merciful, loving God, my Father, my Creator.  I'm His child and I want to love Him in a way that I want Kie to love me.

With that being said, I also need to love my neighbor.  Which is a lot harder to do!

I once heard that if you have a problem with someone you should PRAY for them.  Because soon you will have a hard time not liking a person if you're always praying for them.

And you know what, I do this!  I really do!  Now, I'm going to be honest.  It is so hard for me to pray for people that I don't like.  I don't pray out loud, I usually pray in the quietness of my mind.  Usually when I'm about to fall asleep or nap (yes I know I'm not as diligent as I'd like).  Anyway, I may pray for the man that cut me off in traffic, or for the mean girl from high school years ago, or for the mean girls in adult life--didn't realize there'd be so many! And of course people that did me wrong or slighted me.  

It is really hard praying for these people.  Sometimes God humbles me enough that I feel compassion and understanding for some.  Other times I pray for them bitterly....which I don't think God wants me to do.

What I'm saying is I REALLY need to work on loving others as myself.  
I really need to be more like Christ in so, so many ways.  

Sometimes I'm daunted by the challenge.  Sometimes (many time)I fail and fall on my face.  Sometimes I'm scared to tell others I'm a Christian because of all the mistakes I've made.

I'm here to say I am sinner, I'm here to say I'm not nice or good or even close to being good most of the time.  I'm just a normal person. A normal mommy.  A normal wifey.  A normal daughter, sister and friend. 

But I do have an EXCEPTIONAL God and Savior.  And I know that I need to try and stop being normal and to strive to meet His calling to do and be better than I am.

Wow, sorry I got a bit preachy there.  Well it's 4 am--and my husband will be up at 5am to go to a men's Bible study this morning before work.  This transformation in Justin is phenomenal.  Like I've said time and time again, my husband has always been a great man with a great heart.  But now,, he is changing even more.  Let's just say, one day when Justin shares his testimony...I think his story will touch a lot of people.

alright, this momma is going to attempt to sleep some.  

Until next time,


Sorry for the bad photo quality--cell phone picture.
My two sweet sleeping boys.  


  1. I am almost crying! This is such an awesome story and I love the last picture. Those are the things you'll cherish forever. You are an awesome momma and wife!

  2. I love this post.. I feel the same way about all of your "preaching!" But just remember that EVERYONE sins, and that nobody is perfect.... I know I have made a LOT of mistakes, and it is sooo hard to call myself a Christian because of all the horrible things that I have done.. But thank goodness, God forgives and forgets! love you halley!


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