Wednesday, October 31, 2012

We had a baby!

I went MIA....I apologize.

But I have a great excuse...We had our lil man, a week or so earlier than planned. Funny how life goes! Our newest addition actually was 13 days early. And the birth story was pretty amazing...if I say so!

I cant wait to share...but for now I'm juggling life as a mom of TWO little boys. And when I get a moment I'll fill everyone in!

Thanks for all the love and prayers! We felt them all!
check back soon for the birth story

*forgive any typos, this was done on my tablet!

Thursday, October 18, 2012

As we wait...

Ah, the waiting game.
I remember these days pretty vividly (nearly two years ago to the day).
Kie was due the 16th of November.
This baby, by my calculation is actually due on the 3rd of November (c-section is schedule a week beforehand.)
But my doctor believes we're due the 7th--so we're going by HIS schedule.
*But he wasn't there for the baby making, so I think I would know*

I'm in the first stages of labor.
Lots of contractions, coming every 10, 5 and 3 minutes.
The pain wrapping around by back and front.
Lasting an hour or two or more...
then they dissipate.

And since Kie came early--there's a high chance this lil man will too.
Which makes me nervous and anxious.
I'm excited yet apprehensive.
I worry more now about leaving Kie.
I have NEVER spent a night away from him (besides those nights while he was first born--away in the NICU)
AND since then, I vowed to never spend a night away.

I hardly function when he's down for the night.
I fight the urges to pick him up out of bed and rock him like I use to do.
I don't know how I will do being away from my first baby.
I know I have a minimal of 3 days in the hospital.
And, I know my sweet boy will be in good hands--with his grandmother.
Oh, and did I mention our hospital is ONE mile away? Like,  I can walk through my neighborhood to the hospital.
Yes, I'm truly blessed.
(Seriously, I loved being raised 'in the country'--but I am so blessed to be in Austin---)

I know my husband can easily come home--check in on Kie and bring him to me when he can. Or so can grandmother.
I also know if I need ANYTHING I can easily get Justin to run home and be back in 10 minutes.

It also is nice knowing if my labor starts to intensify, we're right here.
I can check in quickly.
It's strange, I never thought 'city-life' could bring comfort.
But, in this way--it really does.

Anywho, I get distracted.

Life these days have been calm and relaxed (as relaxed as timing contractions can be) with lots of down time on the sofa and bed.

My sweet boy (that nursed forever) doesn't cuddle like he use to.
I don't know if it's a boy thing...or a growing up thing.
He is a sweetheart and will give me tons of hugs and kisses...
but it's keeping him still, curled up in my arms is something I miss.

Well, today--and these last few days have been such a treat.
I have put away my phone and put away my work--and during nap times...instead of doing my usual catching up on editing, writing, or cleaning--
I get Kie into our big bed.
He lays there (as still as a nearly 2 year old can)---
and we sing.
We read books or he will read them to me.
Or, he talks and tells me stories.

If I dare open an eye to look at him,
he tells me to 'sleep momma, sleep.'
And he pats me on the head.
Like he knows I need to rest.
He lays right beside me, sometimes laying his head on my chest.
We're as close as possible.

His sweet baby smell is soooo good.
He still smells like a baby.
(He still wears baby lotion everyday.)
His dad massages him after every bath with his bedtime lotion.

And of course, the smell of a fresh diaper on his butt.
::We nap and sleep in diapers::
He still smells so sweet, so innocent and precious.
I take it all in.
And thank God for these moments.
These moments of just us.
These moments with my sweet lil boy.

I take his chubby, dimpled hand in mine...
Amazed how big they've already gotten.
I kiss his fat lil baby feet and count his lil toes----
and squeeze his lil chunkie thighs.

He still is a baby to me.
He still has his baby fat.
He still needs me to change him.
He still needs me to feed him and pick him up.
He still need me for now.

I savor these moments....
Thanking God where he brought me in the past two years.
All the changes He's made in my life.
All the future plans and changes He has for me.
For my family,
for us.

I'm amazed at where we've gone and been in these short few years.
Seriously, I could not of imagined a better life for me.
I never, ever knew what motherhood and marriage could be like.
I am blessed to Heaven and back.
(Don't mistake this as "my life is perfect" because it's far from that. But regardless of imperfections comes a lot of gratitude for my life.)
I wouldn't have these wonderful moments if it wasn't for God loving me.

I don't understand how He could possibly love me the way He does.
All I know is that everything wonderful and great I have in my life is because of Him.
So, these sweet fleeting moments...
I know who to be grateful to.

These moments of quietness.
These moments of love.
Of sweet toddler hugs and kisses,
These moments of kicks and nudges from my unborn son...
Those countless times my husband gets me giant cups of ice to chew,
all while cleaning up the kitchen and the house without uttering one negative word.

Yes, I'm blessed.
And for every moment I have now...
and for the future ones to be made,
I'll always be grateful.

Patiently waiting,


Monday, October 15, 2012

I'm in a pickle!

(This is a saying, right?)
Well, soon I'll be in one.
So my c-section is scheduled for November 1st.
Really, I am DUE on the 31st. But Justin doesn't want me to have a Halloween baby.
Not that he is worried about satanic stuff ...but he just doesn't want our son having his bday on Halloween and having to share that holiday with HIS own holiday.
So November 1st WILL be my son's BIRTHDAY--if all goes as planned (and I don't go into labor early.)

And God bless,
 but my life...
 never goes as planned.

The dilemma is my husband's birthday is October 28th--then I'll be going into the hospital four days later for the birth of our new baby-(Nov. 1st)
...and two days later it will be Kie's birthday. (Nov. 3rd)
::Interesting how we're having a baby nearly 2 years to the DAY we had Kie::

If you count then you'll see that ALL their birthday's FALL in ONE WEEK.

....ALL the special men in my life.

Of course, I'll be in the hospital during Kie's birthday which makes me sad :(
Therefore, what's a very busy momma gonna do?

Do I throw my toddler a birthday AFTERWARDS??

What about my husband?
Not to be mean here,
but the days before my c-section--
I feel like I'll be rushing to get last minute things done before I am out for with the no driving and all the 'fun' healing time.

Last year, I had a GREAT party planned for Kie.
I had everything specially made...(Thanks Pinterest and Etsy!)
I had all these precious invitations, decorations, his bib, his bday hat, his gifts, the cupcakes, the cake...
It was a big to do!
I planned it for months.

It was such a fun day for everyone...
but now Kie is getting the shaft because of it all.
Or is Justin?
Or what about the new baby?

Will I be one of those moms that throws ONE big party for all three of my guys?
And why not make it a Halloween one while we're at it.

It will be easier.

I joked to Justin that his gift is his new son.
I also told Kie his gift will be his brother.
So, maybe I'm covered on the gift giving this year?

Honestly though, this weekend I plan on putting together my husband a basket that I saw on Pinterest.
I'll share the pin soon (if I can find it).
I am taking the idea and putting my own spin on it.

Basically instead of a basket, I plan on getting a tool box or a tool bucket to put some of his favorite things--like foods and snacks.
And each snack and food item has a note on it--saying thanks for putting up with me these last 9 months and also incorporating happy birthday items, like some cupcakes
and maybe some new man-manicure items.

Kie & my niece, Amelia before the UT game
Not that my husband is big into his beauty routine...
but I love Victoria Secrets men after-shave collections.
And, since Justin is bald--I don't have to worry about buying him hair products.

poor Kie man will probably have a birthday celebration after his birthday.

He WILL be getting a new lil brother.
(Hope he likes him.)
And we're either getting him a pretty nice little toddler-sized four-wheeler or truck.
Something he can ride around in the back yard and go 'off roading' on.

It definitely won't be the big to-do I did last year.
In some ways I'm relieved...
because yes, he's more aware this year--but last year's party was more for the pictures.

I can't be having massive pinterest parties every year!
(I'm not Martha Stewart y'all)
Maybe once I'm healed up from everything we can do something extra special.
Like go to The Great Wolf Lodge or something?

We'll see...
Oh yes, posts-to-come:

Pregnancy update,
weekend update
and some other mumbles....

Hope everyone had a good weekend!
I'm just patiently waiting on a baby and some FALL WEATHER!

cute boy.
this is how he naps.
He threw out all his blankets and took off his pants.
Oh, can ya tell he likes trains?

Saturday, October 13, 2012

stick a fork in me, I'm done...

Here I go.
I'm going to be brutally honest. And some may not like it but, this is my lil spot where I can say what I feel.

This pregnancy....
I'm over it.

I know there's TONS of people who love pregnancy and everything it involves. And for the most part..I've had those moments too.

With Kie, I was sick and deathly ill for the first 20-22 weeks. 
Pregnancy kicked my butt for awhile.
But once I got bigger, things got easier.
I loved pregnancy.
I wore my tight shirts and maternity shorts, cute short dresses--and I never felt prettier.
I loved my massive, expanding belly.

Justin and I would go to dinners, out on dates...
I would shop every weekend--hey, we even went out to numerous concerts and bars--staying out late at night. (I avoided smokers.) 
And I even managed to throw parties and threw Justin a big birthday party a few days before I went into labor.

Overall, pregnancy- SANS toddler was a piece of cake.

Fast forward two years.
I did start this pregnancy 20 lbs heavier...
and though I did 'workout' the first few months--it eventually stopped.
Well, we were living through a massive renovation.
We didn't have a kitchen for a good 6-7 weeks...
We had a lot of stress....and the workouts stopped.
Plus, I had to drag Kie to gym with me.
There would be countless weeks he would catch some bug or virus,
--or I was getting behind on things--so my workouts took a back seat.

We also would have to leave our house everyday to avoid all the smoke and dust.
I literally packed us up---and left for hours on end to get out. (Getting a toddler to nap somewhere NEW everyday is pretty hard.) It also meant having a pack n' play set up--or if I dared to bring him home to nap then there's a good chance he would be woken up by saws or nail guns going off.

Did I mention the smoke? Oh yea, the construction men SMOKED in my house.
And they sang--and they cursed. LOUDLY!

So some days I'd stay at a friends, some days I'd stay at Carter's...
I basically wore my welcome out every where I went. 
It got very tiring.

SO by the time we 'moved back in' to our home---all I wanted to do was nest.
I was tired of being on the go.
I didn't want to pack up another bag to leave my house...I wanted to sit finally!
Besides, I had tons to clean, organize and situate. 
I still had work to do...
and I was behind in everything.

I also have a toddler that has more energy than a Texas Tornado...
and he wears me out.
He also wears his father out.
Heck, he wears out most people.
But that's little boys...and I love him.

This time I'm tired.
Way tired.

Last pregnancy, if I couldn't sleep at night (and there are a lot of those) I would simply take a nap after I got off work the next day.
Or, if I didn't work--I'd sleep in.
I only had me and my husband to take care of.
(and I also nannied and worked, but still my 'job' was over at 5pm most days).

All I had to do was keep the house cleaned, have a dinner cooked at night--and take care of myself.


(Moms-to-be, enjoy your long relaxing showers and baths now--because they'll come to an end.  Also, enjoy sitting on the toilet alone. Sit there awhile. Soak it in. Because before long, you'll never pee or poo alone.) 

With this pregnancy,
If I don't sleep--I still have to get up...because toddlers don't understand insomnia.
So, here I am chasing a wild lil man.
There are days when all I want to do is lay there.
Some times I DO.
And I feel awful.
I ask Kie to play with me on the floor or climb into my lap.
However, he usually wins out and I go and do what he asks.
::Hard to say no when he says please so nicely::

Now my bones crack and crunch under my weight (this last month)---and my energy levels are depleted.
But, there's work to do and a household to maintain.
So in order to keep my house clean or keep up on work-- I have to wait until Kie is down--or during nap time (and nap time is slowly disappearing). 

I also miss the days of throwing a stroller into my car and heading to the lake for a run with Kie.
I miss being able to pull Kie on his wagon through the neighborhood (I still could but I'd die after the first block.)
I miss taking Kie in his stroller to the grocery store.
It got us both out--and we spent the day on the go-
making sure I could wear him out so I could fit a little work into the day.

I miss my energy levels.
I miss how I could jump out of bed (now I slow roll like a beached, sweaty walrus--do walruses sweat?)
to run to Kie's room when I hear him waking.

Though I still pick up Kie, it's gotten harder.
He's 30+lbs and my body is already carrying an extra 40.
I quickly wear out.

Why yes, I'm one of those women that gets lucky putting on the weight.
In fact, I truly believe if I worked out the entire pregnancy I'd STILL be 40 up.
Even when I was working out pregnant I would gain.
I just GAIN and gain and hopefully post pregnancy, I'll lose.
(It's going to take a lot of determination and butt kicking.)

Basically, I'm done being this big.
I'm physically TIRED of being this big.

I'm sure it wouldn't be so bothersome if I didn't have a toddler that I miss playing with--
Sure, I can sit on the ground and play.
I can cuddle with him and pick him up.
But, I feel like a fraction of the mom I should be right now.

Don't think I'm WISHING I wasn't pregnant.
Because God knows how much I love this unborn lil boy.
I love him SO much.
And I want him to be healthy in EVERY WAY.
Nor, do I want to go into labor early.

I'm just ready to be a great mom again.
A mom full of energy so I can devote my time and FULL energy into both my boys.

I also realize I will be healing awhile--and I'll also be splitting my energy and attention between two
So, in some ways I won't be the mom I was before--

Regardless, I'm ready to have my energy.
To be able to move freely.
To not crunch with every movement (my pelvic bones and hips pop constantly)
I'm ready to run around with Kie--
I'm ready to be able to hold and carry both my boys.

Pregnancy, these last few weeks has been hard.
Maybe it's the countless stomach viruses I've been lucky to get.
Or, the week of flu that took my energy out and hurt every muscle in my body.
Maybe it's because I stopped working out...
I don't know.
Don't think I've spent this pregnancy eating ice cream and sitting. (Though that doesn't sound bad.)
I am always on the go,
it's just a slower version now.
In fact, I ate better this pregnancy than before.
I just am slowing down..
and tired.
And perhaps it's Gods way of making me slow down--because normally I wouldn't.

This time I'm just spent.

*Ps, I'm NOT always feeling tired and worn out.
There are PLENTY of days and weeks I feel great.
Weather affects me a lot.
Cooler weather has me feeling like a new woman.
(Hello, Texas weather--stay cool for a mama!)
Kie also gives me energy (and takes it away) if that makes sense.

I also am very grateful to BE pregnant and expecting my second baby boy.
I just wish I could be super mom (some of you may be--God bless!) but I am not able to keep up with Kie as much as I'd like the closer I get to my due date.

(Btw, moms to multiples or pregnant when you have multiple toddlers or little the heck do you manage? Seriously?!?!) 

Just keepin' it real here folks.

And on the flip side,
babies are freaking amazing.
They're worth being the size of a MACK truck. (I'm getting close.)
Babies are worth the hormones going crazy--and the night sweats and the no sleeping.
Babies are worth all my bones crunching and my hips popping like I'm about to break in two.
Being a mom is THE BIGGEST and best joy you'll ever experience--even if you happen to pee on yourself when you laugh now.

And, like anything great in life--if there's no hard journey (or challenge)--then it's probably not worth it.

And yes, I'll take being huge, hot and roley-poley to get another sweet baby any day!

now to enjoy some SNL before I toss and turn in bed all night ;)


Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Kids [Kie] say the darnest things & not-so-honest parenting

Kie just told me he has "I have big toes, lit-tle toes...and other toes."
This was right before I put him in timeout...
for kicking me with those cute toes.

Oh, toddler.
I love you.

Today has been a day of Kie sayings...earlier he informed me he wanted some "more choco-macaroni-soup."

Sometimes he runs all his favorite words (and in this case foods) together to see what he may get.

I know he was originally asking for chocolate milk..
which really isn't chocolate milk.
We give him the Organic Vanilla milk--but for some reason he thinks it's chocolate milk.
And I never correct him.
In fact, I refer to it as chocolate milk.
It is a box drink so he never sees the color of the milk--and he loves it. Soo, whatever works.

And lastly,
Kie loves "squeeshy chips", which he also asks for a lot.
These 'suqishy' chips are actually those organic fruit strips...or jerky. Or, whatever they are.

In fact, I don't even know what they're called.
But, they're decent for you. (Well, better than a chip.)

I called them squishy chips because Kie asked for chips one day and in return, we gave him one of the fruit strips.

When he asked what it was, I said it was a chip.
A squishy chip.
So, now he asks for "squeeshy chips."

Yep, I might be setting him up for some confusion down the road.

Oh, and ON that note.
One more confusing parenting item.

Kie hears words and repeats them.
He does know a lot of what they mean.
He knows he likes chocolate and cakes.
But he's not entirely sure what they are all about.
Considering there's many forms of both chocolate and cakes.

Well, one day on the way back from his swim lesson, Justin made the mistake of asking him WHAT he would prefer for his birthday coming up.
Justin asked if he wanted a "cake or a cupcake?"
Kie said cupcake.
Which of course meant he KEPT saying the word.
He wouldn't stop repeating it.
So when he got home he EXPECTED a cupcake.

I was cooking dinner--and here I had a fussing toddler--requesting a cupcake every second.
I told Justin he was going to have to get one for him...and it was his fault for asking him what he wanted.
Besides, I did not want to battle a fussing toddler.
I do pick my battles.
And at this point, Kie usually wins.
(But hey, go me for putting him in timeout for kicking me with his OTHER toes.)

Justin told him he would get him a cupcake.
He went to the kitchen, grabbed a piece of wheat bread...
and sliced off the crust,
and handed it to him.
He said it was a cupcake.

Kie ate it all up.
And wouldn't even share his 'cupcake' when his dad asked for a bite.

Kie thinks cupcakes are crustless pieces of wheat bread.

Wonder how long we'll be able to keep this one up?
But hey, if he wants cupcakes,
we'll give the boy cupcakes.


Tuesday, October 9, 2012

terrified and tired

I haven't been blogging like I've wanted to lately.
These last few weeks and days have been going fast, yet s-l-o-w.
Not like that makes sense...
but I guess to ladies that are in their last few weeks and days of pregnancy know what I mean.
I've been distracted and scattered brained...

More so now, I'm scared.
I'm actually terrified and tired of feeling this way.
You would think that after the first time giving birth, you'd be prepared (more) for the second time...
but, I'd say I'm either equally as scared as I was with Kie--or more so now.

My biggest worry is my c-section.
I don't like them.
I wish I was able to give birth naturally.
In fact, I'm jealous of the many moms that can.
I know it's not easy (I did labor and push for hours and hours so I'm aware of the work)
but the healing and the over-all connection just seems so much more natural and safe when birthing naturally.

I'm not trying to scare others about c-sections...
but to me they're awful.
Of course, everyone is different.

The first time,
I was exhausted--and I didn't know what csections were really--or what they entailed.
I just was ready to meet by baby.

After being strapped down---
and pumped full of medicines...
and no husband or family around--
I started to feel sick.
I wanted to throw up.
I was dizzy and the lights were so bright...
I felt like I was struggling to breath,
I felt like I was suffocating and I couldn't get away.
I started to panic...
Not to mention there were a million doctors and nurses rushing around me.
None of them talking....
None that I knew.
(My doctor wasn't on call that day)
Nor did it help that the doctor who did my c-section tell me RIGHT before they took me to the OR how awful c-sections were on a new mom. And how much excruciating pain I'd be experiencing once I was on the road to recovery.

Everything was happening so fast that I didn't know if it was normal to have so many doctors and nurses surrounding me and watching me as I lay there bounded down and helpless.
Or, were they prepping for something bad to happen? (Emergency-wise).

When Justin finally was allowed in, I forced him to talk to me about miniature horses and donkeys...
anything to get my mind off the pressure from the pulling and cutting...
and nausea I was feeling.
But he too was in shock of my need of c-section. And to be honest, I think HE was overwhelmed by it all. I could read his face. And the anxiety I saw in his eyes, did not comfort me.

I love my husband, but little was helping me feel better in those long minutes.
I just kept watching the clock--trying to hold off from crying or throwing up.

Finally Kie was delivered--but instead of crying out like he was suppose to--something was wrong.
Which scared me even more.
They finally got him to give a little cry and I burst into tears.
I couldn't stomach anything at this point.

I didn't get to see Kie or touch him--
and he was wheeled away--taken to another hospital.
I just knew something wasn't right.

I did see him briefly in the 'recovery area'....
he was quickly wheeled to me in an incubator---but I couldn't touch him. And before I got a good look at his face--he was gone.
Justin, too left to go be with him.
So I laid there, alone for an hour...
listening to the girl beside me throw up while she held her newborn.

It was a whirlwind.
A fast, crazy one that I don't want to re-visit.

I guess I felt like I had no control over anything.
Here I was, my body failed me to have a baby naturally...
I was forced into a c-section..(thanks to my failing body)
and then I didn't even have a baby to hold after all the hours or pushing/laboring and then a surgery?

And, my husband was no where to be found.
*Yes, I'm glad he went to be with Kie*
But it was hard to be isolated during all this.
I felt alone, sick and scared.

I guess my first go wasn't great,
and now I'm terrified of a repeat.

My c-section is scheduled for NOON.
Which means NO EATING.
If you know me,
then you know during pregnancy I have some awful blood sugar and blood pressure issues.

Typically pregnant women have HIGHER blood pressure.
Not me,
I have LOW, LOW blood pressure...
I get sick easily in the mornings or when I go too long without eating or drinking.
I also have LOW blood sugars...
which causes me to faint or black out.

The schedule for my doctor vs all the other doctor's delivering that day--(doing planned c-sections) means I got the later surgery.

There's nothing I can do.
So I worry.

I worry about being strapped down.
About the painful epidural I had...
(mine took over an hour to get and many, MANY tries)
I had a reaction from the epidural and had to be put on oxygen and I got the shakes really bad....

my body hated the stress and medicines it was put under.

Thankfully, Kie was strong.
And still, I look at Kie now--and think it's so worth it.

Sure, it was hell.
And I'm scared that this time will also be bad,
but I know the outcome is worth it.

I know a lot of my worries is merely the devil scaring me.
And I know I need to lean on the Lord.
I guess I just needed to vent.
And in these nights (where I never sleep)
I toss with my big belly...
worried and scared of being on that table again.
In a room full of strangers...
strapped down---and cut into...

I worry.
I worry a lot.

Worried with each contraction that it's getting closer...
that soon instead of pushing out a baby--I'm at the mercy of strangers...
without any control...
And it's up to them to delivery my baby...
It's up to them I don't slip into a coma...
or get sick.
Or something.

I guess what I need is some prayers.
Some love and prayers.
And some Bible verses to dwell on.

I'd love to say that I'm super excited for my delivery date,
but as of now I'm just scared.
Of course, meeting Baby K is really exciting--
but this impending surgery is like the dark cloud that seems to be casting a shadow on this momma's parade.


Thursday, October 4, 2012

Obamacare, our reality

I'm not looking for a debate but just wanted to let others know how politics and polices DO affect real people.

Want to know how Obamacare has really affected a middle-class family? 
 I'm not trying to push my political views on anyone.... just sharing what has happened to my family due to the health care reform by Obama.

We were notified months ago that our privately owned insurance would be dropping maternity. My husband works for a company and owns his own business.
He chose long time ago to get insurance through his business because the coverage was better and the overall rate was cheaper (when I say cheaper it is still over $500 a month.)

 Our insurance, BCBS of Texas- (a HUGE insurance company in Texas) -informed us when we got pregnant that due to high rates and premiums that they now faced.... could no longer afford to cover us in maternity. They said their policies had changed with Obama's reform.

Regardless of the LESS coverage, our monthly insurance would cost the same. A high $515/a month. 

We tired switching insurances and getting on his company's insurance.  We were denied until after this November (once our son would be born).  Basically, no insurance would take us because maternity  costs had risen due to the reform.  We spent MONTHS trying to find another carrier.  All the PRIVATELY OWNED insurances said the same.  We would not be covered in maternity.

Basically, if you OWN your own business and bought your own insurance... you were out of luck.  

Here we are a middle-class family,
My husband works TWO jobs.
I work part-time (and a full-time mom).
We are responsible tax payers that ALSO pay for health insurance---but we could not be covered in maternity.

The only advice given to us ALL by the insurance agents we called was to file for Medicaid.
This was Obama's answer.

However, we do not qualify.

I had numerous agents and health care people tell me to 'lie' or 'fudge' facts on my Medicaid file so that I could get covered.

They told me to say I was single.
That I was separated from my husband.
To lie about what we owned and didn't own.
They told me tons of people do this to get coverage.

As a Christian woman WITH morals--I could not lie and say I was a single woman.
Because, I am not.
I AM married and my family depends on my husband fully.
And WHY would I lie to make OTHERS (tax payers) pay for me?

My husband works 90-100 hour weeks.
We pay high rates for insurance that does NOT cover all our needs.

We have paid thousands of dollars for my pre-natal appointments--even opting out on tons of testing to save money.

I will be having a medically-needed c-section in the next few weeks that will cost us thousands more.
This future financial burden has stressed me out the past 9 months while expecting our son.
We have cut costs these months and worked OVERTIME to save for this surgery.

All the while I go to the doctor, shelling out hundreds to see my OB/GYN--to see people having 4-5 children WITH little to no costs.

As a mom, I'd love to grow my family and have more kids.
But the financial burdens we face with just having two children is tremendous.
Whereas some people can have all the kids they want, relying on Medicaid and the government and NOT working....
Whereas we have to work our tails off, pay high rates and NOT get covered.

What's wrong with our country?

I'm ALL for helping out the needy....but what about those that HELP themselves?
Where does working and working hard get you?!

I know what is has done for us.
It exhausts my husband (though he never complains).
It stresses a family.
It affects the future of the family.

I know in the days and weeks ahead--my husband will continue to put more hours into work in order to pay off our LARGE looming medical bills. We don't like having extra bills and debt.  We pay things off as soon as possible. We're responsible in the way we don't have car notes or pay for things that aren't needed.

Instead of having my husband home at 5pm where I'll need him with two babies--he will work well into the night to make sure that our extra bills can be covered. 

*And to share what those costs may look like--my son, born two years ago, cost over $60,000--luckily then we were covered by two insurances*

I don't know how to fix our country, but I DO know that this issue was a result of Obama's health care reform.

I am not saying ONE man or party is the change we need in our country...
But, this IS the result of ONE man's policy changes on a middle-class family.

I had insurance (with the SAME insurance we have now) that covered maternity and my son two years ago.

What I know, is we DO NOT have it now.

I'm just writing this to inform---
and as an educated woman...we have exhausted ALL other options.

To reiterate, 
privately owned insurances in Texas will not cover maternity.
And when we were told WHY--they said due to Obama's reform.

Just sharing our story.


*Kie's birth did have some medical issues--that resulted in an extended NICU stay and hospital transfer.  This resulted higher post-natal bills.*
We do pray to God we do NOT have to deal with any emergencies this time around.

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