It's been a week sans computer.
I had plans of blog post after blog post after blog post about my baby before his birthday but, since I am just NOW getting it back---a post ON his birthday will have to do. :)
However, not only did I not get to write but we have been very ill, more on that later. But for now...I must share the last day or so, and relish in these memories.
Yesterday was a bittersweet day for me. It was the day before Kix turned one.
Unbeknownst to my sweet boy, I was a bit sad about how time flew this year.
So, I took extra time to love on him and savor those sweet moments.
I held him longer than normal (which means 23 1/2 hrs out of the day vs. the normal 22 hrs) ::seriously my lil baby loves to be held::
I breathed in deep the smell of his fluffy soft baby curls on the back of his head. They smell of Burt's Bees and a bit of lavender.
I squeezed his little fleshy thighs and kissed his fat little cheeks....thinking back to a year ago.
The back labor I had been experiencing, the sciatic nerve pain, the heating pads, the bed-rest, the early labor....all those 'hard things' to go through to get him here. But oh, was he worth it :)
Yesterday, my sweet boy--woke at 3am, needing me. He hates to sleep alone. The stomach virus he had has also made him leery of being by himself. The day was spent having fun. We played and got things ready for Justin to come home. But once nap time came again-he refused to nap. So I took him into my bed, cuddled his cold legs against me and picked up my tablet. I had been watching Mary Poppins the night before, yes, I'm a weird one.
I didn't think he would enjoy it, but I gave it a try. We watched and laughed for a good hour. Not once did he get bored. I was so surprised because he never pays attention to the TV. But, here---in this quiet time alone together, Kix laid there---his little, baby-big head--in the crook of my arms, his little hair under my nose, watching with big blue eyes, the singing and dancing of Mary Poppins and the cartoon character friends. I was so happy. So grateful. So blessed. This baby, a baby that I wasn't sure how would fit into our 'family of 3' a year ago--was a perfect fit.
I was so worried a year ago, about how our dynamic that I loved and cherished could possibly change. But, once Kix arrived--I felt as though he always belonged. Kix, my baby--who is brave and smart. He has balance and tenacity. He watches, observes and then makes a move. For instance, Kie turns away from his toys to play with something else, Kix will watch him and then grabs for the toy that Kie turns his back on. He knows not to make an attempt when Kie is playing, but is smart to go for it when he isn't looking. Same for Kie's food :)
He learned to crawl before 6 months--and he began standing not much longer after that. He wanted to learn to keep up with Kie. Watching Kix, watch Kie--is such a beautiful thing to me.
Sure, they are rough tumble...but, they are boys, boy learning and loving.
And they are my boys.
Regardless of this rough and tumble life, Kix is my baby.
He always reaches to me, his little arms up! He is always at the baby gate, watching me cook--asking with his big blue eyes to hold him when I'm at the stove.
He is also fast! He quickly can grab food out of your hand or will pop the nearest coin into his mouth before you can say "NO!"
Kix, my sweet boy. The baby with the dimples and curls. The baby who WILL NOT STOP crying. He is persistent, that's for sure. No, you can't be sleep trained. You prefer to be with me. And that's ok. You're the baby. I may of spoiled you by keeping you in the bed longer than Kie. But, it's ok. I did 'right by one'. But, I didn't know about you. I didn't know if you'd be the last baby or not. So, I held on to you longer. I let you stay in the bed longer. Instead of letting you cry out, I ran to you. I was more like a first-time mom in many ways with you because I didn't want to train you at all. I wanted you to be the baby and I know you needed me. This time around I baby wore more. This time around we co-slept longer. I would of kept you in the bed longer if I wasn't going a bit bonkers from the lack of sleep or if your father didn't want you out of the bed.
You're BoBo. BoBo, the name that Kie gave you. You're BoBo, for whatever reason. And to my dismay, it has stuck. But, you like it--and so does Kie. So for now, you're BoBo. And Kie, loves to introduce you to people. Kie will often say, "HI! I'm Kie. And this, this is my brother, BoBo!" He is so proud of you. Sure, he may push you away when you get his toys. Or he, may say "NO, BOBO! NO!" But that's because he loves you. He has also because a little mom around the house. Kie helps me 'parent you'. He closes doors and the baby gate so you can't get into things. He often removes breakable stuff and pushes it farther away out of your reach. (Seriously, why do I still have breakable items in my home?)
Nevertheless, life with you is so much sweeter.
It truly is.
I'll never forget the day you were born....
but, more of that later. For now, you're up from your nap :) I hear you stirring in your crib.
You aren't officially ONE until 7:15pm tonight....
And I'll post again on that soon.
Love you my son!
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