Do You Struggle with Yourself? I do!

Why hello lovely readers :)

I do not know what is going on this Winter.
Here in Austin, we've had two days of canceled schools in a week because of 'ice and snow'.
Insane!

But, this weekend we should be back in the high 60's!
If you suffer from allergies or get sick easily with the weather changing, then this is NOT the place to live.

Anyway,
I just wanted to write because I had some items on my mind.

Yesterday I wrote out this long and wordy blog.
I was hurt. And I've been hurt and angry for awhile now.

The normal, un-grace-filled Halley wanted to spout off at the mouth. To vent. To yell. To call names. To be mean. To 'say-it like it is!'

I struggle with THAT Halley a lot.
She reacts to her feelings.
She hurts. She gets mad.

That is typical me.
But, in this same person is a girl who struggles to do what is right. My urge to do right only comes from the Holy Spirit. It is very natural for me to do wrong and to react....but, my heart that longs for Him and to be a vessel of light and love, knows better.
My love for Him overrides those feelings.  It may not be my initial feelings...but, in time--I am grateful for no reaction. I'm grateful for NOT saying anything.

So, I never posted.

It also helps that I have amazing friends and family that remind me what is important in life. However, I can't help but to struggle with my sinful nature that wants 'revenge.'
I don't think the word revenge is right, per say.
I don't want revenge. I just, want to say what I feel. And to finally SAY what I've been feeling for some time.

But, I digress.
The important thing is, I have to learn to love like Christ. To forgive like I've been commanded to do.
To see others as HE sees us.

I mean, Christ calls us to loves others as HE loves us.
And, I'm a sinner SO fallen from Grace.
If HE can love ME..a terrible sinner unworthy to utter His name....can't I love others who hurt me and my family?

Can't I see past their hurt to love them?
Can't I try to understand why they do what they do, say what they say? (Maybe not understand but to see that they are hurtful because they are indeed, hurt themselves?)
I don't deserve the love Christ gives me, so surely I can give grace to others because I am the same?

I'm sure these issues wont go away just because I am going to learn to pray and love them....but, hopefully when and if another situation arises, I'll be slower to anger, and quicker to get on my knees and pray for this person.

I am not writing this for pity or for anyone to think I'm 'tooting my own horn' because I'm not.
But, the truth is, I needed to write in some ways about it.
I'm a writer by nature. I feel better when I get a chance to write and to sort things.

I've have wanted to 'talk' about this, but I have debated how to do it.
I've been angry and upset so I've had a few posts over time that I write and delete because they were too blunt. They were TOO reactionary. 
I don't want to react. I wanted to think, and reflect.

And luckily, God has been putting a lot in front of me to see.
And I'm grateful for that.
I'll always be a work in progress....and I pray God keeps His Word in my heart and head at all times.
I hope everyday that I die more to myself and that HE will be seen in me. That my actions and words will always reflect HIM instead of what HALLEY feels.

SO, I'm gonna end this blog in some things I've been thanking God for lately.

You know, a lot of times I go to God in prayer because of hurt and burdens. But, I need to always go to Him everyday, multiple times in praise and worship and with thanksgiving in my heart!

I've got so much to be thankful for~ and I'm sure you do too!

Here is what I'm so very thankful for today:

• I'm thankful for a warm house with a heater on these cold days.
• I'm thankful for a full pantry and fridge of healthy foods. These necessities are things that a lot of people don't even have--and yet, I take them for granted!
• I'm thankful for warm clothes--and a washing machine to wash them in!
• I'm grateful for my two healthy children. Their health is a blessing!
• I'm grateful for a husband who works hard everyday. Who never complains and serves us whole heartily. (I could go on and on about him but I'll save it for another post).
• I'm thankful for amazing family that loves and gets together as much as we can. (Even if we all live so far away from one another.)
• I'm grateful for a church home and Godly people that I know through it.
• I'm grateful we live in the HOME OF THE FREE--because, even tho it can seem bad at times, I can freely say what I want about my God and worship Him.
• I'm thankful for our brave troops, past and present that fight for our freedoms. 
• I'm thankful for God's Son, Jesus Christ. He truly set US FREE! My sins that crush me and my soul are forgiven because of His blood. Praise Him!
• I'm grateful I live in Texas---because tho it is cold, we only have a handful of these days a year.
• I'm grateful for my health.
• I'm grateful for a million shallow things (like Amazon.com lol and my car to get me to and fro) but I'm not going to list them all because this what be insanely long.

In short, I've got a thousand more things I could list and be thankful for---

basically, I have way more things I should be in prayer about.

Thank you God, for everything you do and give in my life.

I pray I show your love.

I pray I react less like ME but love and react as You would.

To give more, expect less....

and to show grace always.

Thank you for everything!

Amen

From Fluffy to...?

I've been two weeks without a 'smartphone'...and to be perfectly honest, without my phone.
So, if you have been trying to get hold of me, call my husband.
 Or, send me a message on Facebook.
My phone finally died while I was in Atlanta, and I got a pre-paid phone to make it back (since hello 6 hours in a car across the state of Texas with two babies is NOT wise sans phone). And, since I've got that phone and it is as basic as anything....I've just not had an urge to get another. I mean, it serves it's purpose of calls and texts.

Funny thing is, I don't even KNOW my number on my pre-paid phone.
So, I haven't shared it with anyone really.
And, I kept thinking I'd only have it a day or two at most, yet here I am going on two weeks with a pre-paid basic little thing.
I feel like it's 2003. Lol.

The thing I miss most is probably Instagram.
And having Myfitnesspal at my fingertips.

Speaking of,

Girlfriend has got to get on the ball.
(yes, I'm talking about me.)

Today was a 'Snow Day', if you will, in Austin.
The nice thing about living in Texas means we will be wearing shorts tomorrow.
But to say I'm over this weather is an understatement.

In some ways, I love the cool air and definitely love the lack of mosquitoes. But, it is hard to convince me to get out of bed and into regular pants when it is perfectly acceptable to wear sweats.
Oh, and don't get me started on dang Valentine's candy.

I am over it.

I guess it may seem like I am fussing in these posts about exercising and fitness.
And, I am.
I totally need to get over this weird cold-weather funk and get on with it.
I was doing pretty decent through the holidays.
Time to get back on it.

SO, here is my plan of attack.

1.) Cut back on all the crap. Except to have ONE cheat day a week.
This doesn't mean I cheat ALL day but, if I want to splurge on a meal, I can.

2.) Start using my weights and bike again.
I just cleaned out our play-room/outside room and now I have tons of space to get my IRON on and bike.

3.) Start my protein shakes again. (Once a day). Not only does it fill you up but it promotes muscle building and health.

4.) Get back out on the trails with the kids. MOVE again. Run in the yard with the kids.

5.) Start an exercise class at the gym.
I think I can commit to one day a week at least.
Better yet, if I can get my tail out of bed before Justin goes to work. I could make 2-3 classes a week that way.

6.) Drink tons of water and limit alcohol.
Not that I drink often. I drink maybe one drink every month or two.  But, I just want to cut alcohol completely one day.
Don't get me wrong. I like a nice tasty drink when it's a special occasion. (On the beach or out for New Year's).  But, I really want to work on hydrating and treating my body good.
Plus, water is so good for the skin and hair.

7.) No food after 7pm.
This is hard the first week or so, but it really helps.
I usually have dinner ready for Justin when he gets home so he can eat and then go back to work.
My stomach takes some adjusting to this because I like to eat late night snacks with J. BUT, when I cut this it helped SO much.
Water with organic lemon juice will help fill you.

8.) SQUATS everyday!
I love em now!
To think, I use to hate squats. But man, I can't get enough.

9.) PLANKS.
I hate planks. But, I'm gonna get there.

10.) BURPEES
Hate these more.
But, I'm gonna do em.

SOOOO just a few simple steps I'm going to start doing.

I start tomorrow :)

As for tonight, we have plans to go to Trudy's.
 I'll say it's my last HOORAH before I begin all this fitness fun.
And I'm going to clean the house (my de-stresser) and organize. You know I'm an OCD freak.  Justin even had a maid come when I was out of town. So the house itself isn't messy but, the crazy domestic diva in me has to CLEAN. I also enjoy cleaning because it also makes J happy.

Then tomorrow plans are to hit Town Lake and get my move on! If the weather is decent, which it is suppose to be, we will do a picnic at the park. I'll pack healthy snacks for us all :)

Also, I'm ready for SPRING!
And BOAT season.
I am ready to wake board this year.
I gave myself extra time last year to heal good from the csection since I had some issues. But, now I'm ready! So, strong abs are needed.
As usual, I plan to keep posted on here.
Hope everyone is having a lovely, cozy Friday!


Until next time,



Fluffy HK

Randoms and My Wifely Resolutions

Three posts in one week! 
I'd like to say I'm on a roll, but I may jinx things!

This is a small catch up on our day-to-day. And a bit of randoms through out!

As of now, Kie is my very independent 3 year old.
He kinda amazes me.
He wakes up usually earlier than me and would often pull me out of bed by the arm.
THAT was before we put up a baby gate in front of the door.

The baby gate wasn't for that.
It is for Kix.
My extremely wild little man.
See, without that gate...Kix is in my room, pulling open every single drawer.
And throwing said items into the toilet.

Kix, makes Kie seem like a docile little kitten.

Kix, is my wild, WILD boy!
He is precious as can be with his big blue eyes, long lashes and his dimples. Oh, and not to mention his curly little fluffy hair....
He is gonna be trouble, ladies, I predict it!

I always am curious about what kind of men my boys will grow up to be.

I know Justin was a mischievous little guy growing up.
And, I know I was an equally mischievous girl growing up....
so, I'm sure we will be on our toes at all times :)

Much like we are now.
Except, right now life is simple and sweet.

I can still steal away at night to their rooms so I can kiss their sweet little chubby cheeks and to move blankets and stuffed animals.

These days are sweet, for sure.

As you often hear moms say, 'the days are long but the time is short.'
It makes me sad to think my babies are growing so fast.

I'm constantly amazed by the vocabulary and words that Kie uses.
He is so very smart.
He also LOVES to spell and asks me to spell every one's name.
He can spell his name and Kix's very easily.
And he knows his letter and loves shapes.
He also is better at his colors, which relieves me because I think he may have a touch of color-blindness like his grandfather, his great-grandfather and his uncles.
But, it never slowed any of them down, they are all very successful :)

Anyway, as I was saying....
now that it's been winter we spend our mornings being lazy and cuddling.
If it warms up, we go outside to play. Or, we run errands around town.
We also go into our 'still in progress' classroom to play as well.

I've really slacked up on the home school stuff this winter....and I need to get it together for Spring.
But, my take is that soon enough Kie will be 'in school' sooo he may as well enjoy childhood when he can still learn on the-go.

As for these days, I'm longing for Spring.
I have put on some post-Christmas weight and ready to get back into working out and eating clean.

My little vacay to Atlanta meant a lot of home cooked goodness by my father.
And, I came home to a husband that enjoys feeding me.
He seriously has goodies for me everyday.

For instance, this morning I woke to Starbucks and a cream-filled chocolate donut.
Then I came home tonight from our Sunday school meeting and he had me sushi and chocolates.
(Not to mention beautiful flowers).

My husband spoils me.
He truly does.
I try my best to not forget how lucky I am.
Sometimes I think most men ARE like Justin. That this is normal to have fresh flowers every week and sweet little snacks and chores done for you daily.

And when I casually mention how 'I come home to clean house (mopped and laundry done, kitchen cleaned) and the kids are bathed and in bed'  my mom quickly tells me how that is very rare.

And he is. Justin is a very rare and special husband and father.

I mean, my dad was and still is an amazing dad.
But, Justin is something else. In his own league.

I know I often find myself writing about my husband but it's because how he continues to do and serve me and my family so much.

Last week when I was gone, he hit his own personal record of 115 hours at Land Rover in a week.
That is AMAZING to me!
Every week Justin works nearly 100 hours total at work.

And then he comes home and selfless serves me and our boys.

He never complains. I never have to ask him. He just does it.

I am lucky.
And, sometimes I wonder what I could do to possibly deserve someone like him.
I feel I don't do NEAR enough for him.

So, perhaps I'll make another resolution :)
(he wont read this until weeks later when he realizes I've been blogging again.)
Here is my list of wifely duties I plan to implement to be a better wife for my husband.

Halley's Wifely Resolutions: 

1.) Cook 5 Dinners a week. (I could say 6 but, I live in Austin where we have tons of great food sooo don't fault me)

2.) Aim to have the house cleaned and 'guest-ready' at least 3-4 days a week. **Especially when he arrives home from work.**
If you're childless...you may not understand that. But, if you have kids then you understand this will be a big deal.

3.) Be dressed and groomed for him everyday.
For us SAHMs....this means, fresh yoga pants and makeup on..and a shirt with no food or spit up on it.
To be fair, I do often try, but, to be really honest....I don't ever wear real pants.

4.) Always ask how work went...and LISTEN. Don't interrupt when he vents about work.

5.) Send sweet and sexy text messages everyday.

6.) Praise him for their good work and thank them for their help everyday.

7.) Try not to complain when they watch TV shows about Cars....(lol)
(Seriously you'd think after a DAY full of cars, he would want a break...nope!)

8.) Try to keep LAUNDRY and makeup off the 'marriage bed.' Always, bonus...make the bed everyday.

-This is by far my hardest to do. I always pile laundry on the bed to fold. Or, when getting dressed I absentmindedly put my makeup on the bed.
I want to keep the bed cleaned off so when he goes to bed he doesn't have to move said items. AND, if the mood is right, well.... we don't have to move said items.

9. Always wear perfume.
Yep, I'm girly like that.
I have nice perfumes for dates. And I have the Victoria Secrets Body sprays for everyday.

My advice on that is this, if your husband likes perfume...WEAR IT.
If he doesn't, then don't!
Justin LOVES perfumes as do I.
So, I wear them for both of us.
Or, if you don't want to wear it all day--spray it on before he comes home.

10.) Don't take life TOO seriously. LAUGH.

Some days this is SO easy. Justin makes me laugh a lot.
But, there are days when we ARE NOT LAUGHING.
I mean, there are days when the kids haven't been easy to deal with.
OR, I feel fat.
Or, I'm PMSING. Or, I'm snappy...
Or, whatever....

but, if you can laugh more days then not, it would be great!

ALSO, rules that are VERY important....
and should be just KNOWN FACTS...

1. Pray for your husband everyday.
2. Pray that his burden is light and that God is in his mind and heart while at work.
3. Respect your husband.
4. Pray WITH your husband.
5. Don't turn him down.....(some days you may have to, but girlfriend---if you're able and he is able...DO!)
6. Never belittle your husband in front of your children or when he is not around. Let them know you love their father!

SOOOO those are my rules for ME to work on.
If you have any you'd like to share or ones that work for your marriage...I'd love to hear them!

Well, this momma is up WAY past her bedtime.
Tomorrow I'm gonna have these rules out to remind me on what to work on!

Until next time,

HK

That's Where I Wanna Take Our Love

I must be feeling a bit nostalgic. After spending 9 days in Atlanta, I happen to long for the open air and open land of the country.

I can't help myself. 

You may take the girl out of the country, but you'll never take the country out of the girl.

And perhaps it's because I also got to see THE KING OF COUNTRY--in Bossier City (Btw, I've now seen King George 4 times and will be seeing him again this June) but I can't help but to be thinking of one of my favorite George Strait songs.

This song was not one of his big hits. But, I loved it ever since I stumbled across it when I was 14 or 15. Maybe it's because I was a love struck teen and the smooth country, twangy voice of George just caught me. I don't know.

Maybe it's because the song is about living and growing in the country, which--I've always figured I'd do.

Don't get me wrong. I love Austin.

 This is my home.

I also always dreamed of being here in the greatest city in Texas.

But, the small-town, country-girl in me still dreams of having lots of land, a small house, and a big porch and literally miles of NOTHING but the night sky 

and trees around us.

Maybe one day we can have the best of both worlds :)

Also, Justin fell in love with me because I'm a small town girl.

I mean, if you're a small town girl like myself, then you know we are a charming breed. Am I right, girls?

We know how to make a man swoon.

He loved my accent and he loved how I was a True-Blue Texas girl, right down  to my old-vintage Cowgirl boots.

There is something about girls that are raised in the country that distinguishes us from others. Perhaps it's because we know how to have fun anywhere and everywhere. We are low maintenance. We have manners....and we know how to treat a man.

Not to mention a thousand other things.

Like, I can go mudding, camping and my kind-of-night out is a few drinks around a bonfire.  

And we know our way around the kitchen.

Anyway, I got off topic ;)

I just am missing my roots today...

and this song is one of my favorites.

Not only is it my favorite, but it's pretty sexy. 

I think Justin and I need to go to Hills Cafe soon for some dancing and country music soon!

-Enjoy

xxooxx

"That's Where I Wanna Take our Love"

It's a quiet little place, tucked away in the hills...where a crystal clear lakes, makes it crystal clear.

That there's not another livin' soul for miles and miles around.

That's where I wanna take our love and settle down.

There's a giant old oak tree, that knows just how to shade that midday summer sun when it's showin' off it's ray...

While I'm makin you a momma, to Mother Nature's sound,

That's where I wanna take our love and settle down.

That's where I wanna raise your babies that we make

And the hell you know we'll raise when they raise Cain.

That's where I wanna see them laugh, and cry and breathe that honeysuckle air after it rains.

And they'll know just what 'Country' means 'fore they go off to town.

That's where I wanna take our love and settle down.

-George Strait-

Well hello 2014

I don't know where time goes.
It baffles me!

Days and weeks fly by me...and I can't seem to capture them.
I pretty much pray and hope that my mind and my heart can capture all the good I bear witness to on a daily basis.

I'm a blessed woman.
Don't mistaken blessed for a life without struggles and hardships.
But, blessed nonetheless.

So, here we are...2014.
Another year!

I always have goals and dreams for the New Year.

I am like a little girl with new school supplies when I get my new, clean and crisp, empty planner.
I lay it out before me, and carefully print some goals and dates on the first few weeks. Careful to write neat and nice.

Oy, the promise of a new year.

What I do know, is that life goes as it does regardless what we hope and plan.
God has our time table in His hands.
And there is no where else I'd rather it be.

Of course there are things I hope and wish for for our family.
Sooo, I'll list them.
But, just know I'm open for change.

I'll do bullet points for my own sanity.

My wishes and goals for 2014 (and yes I'm about 3 weeks behind here)

• I want to have a yard full of beautiful plants, trees, vegetables and herbs. Every year I try to plant things, and I give up half way through the summer. This year though, I've enlisted Kie. I also plan on making a green-house area so that our plants wont die each year with our once-a year freeze. It also helps that Justin loves plants as much as I do :)
• I want to try a new class. Either a cooking class or an exercising one. I think I need to do Yoga. I have found myself stressed lately and I have no real reason to be. So, maybe some Yoga to slow down?
• I pray my family becomes more active and serving in our church. I'm so glad we are now serving in our children's ministry. It was a chance that only happened because God presented it to us. And so, I'm grateful for that open door. Also, my heart grows larger watching Justin with all the children. He is so loving and caring.  It really makes me fall in love with him more. And not to mention, I've been blessed by the children and by all the Godly people I've met through this ministry.
• I also wish to be more helpful in our neighborhood and in our community. I want to show Christ's love and not just live in my bubble. I want to love my neighbors as myself. I really want to make an effort to meet and give/serve to the people in my neighborhood.
• I also wish to read my Bible more. I want to study and research the Bible in depth. I find myself hungry for the Word and I want to really devour it and have the verses etched in my heart.
• I want to love my Husband as the Bible calls me to. Any success that I have in marriage is because of God. The first year or two in marriage was hard because I was selfish. I thought marriage was about making one another happy. But, I've learned with lots of prayer and help that a successful marriage is through work, compromise and respect. And most importantly, through God.   He has to be centered in the marriage.  I'm always a work in progress but I'm forever grateful to God for His guidance in all areas of life.
• I also want to be healthier in all ways. I typically desire to lose weight to fit in my skinny jeans but this year I want to be healthy for my health. Not my vanity. 
• I want to make a new family friend. --As in, we make friends with a whole family. (Mom/Dad and kids) I think it is important to have old and new friends! And I want to expand our love to others.
• I want to sign Kie up for music this year. I know he would enjoy it and I want him to be able to try something new every year. I hope we can find a class and teacher that would suit him.
• I want to get off social media one day. It is a time suck. I love seeing my friend's and family postings, but I want to eventually taper it off.
• I want to blog more though. Mainly because I forget a lot of things and I want to remember it.
• I want to learn to live with less. (Something I struggle with.) I tend to go through phases and then I start to hoard again. I actually don't 'hoard' but once I deplete the house of items I find myself buying and holding onto things again.
• I want to really pray for those that hurt me. I do pray for people that hurt me, but I want to do it on a daily basis. I want to love my enemies as I love myself. I want to love like Christ. Which means I need to pray often that my heart and soul can see others as He sees them.
• I want to continue working in my marriage and giving full respect to my husband. I'm grateful for such a wonderful man and father. I never want to take for granted ALL that he does for me. So, I pray that I continue to show him respect and to hopefully always fulfill his love-language need. 
• And lastly, this IS the year Justin and I will finally pay off ALL our debt. (Besides mortgage.) We have been working on this for the last few years and though it has been slow, we are finally seeing it come through. I'm so very happy to see it nearly over with!

So, that's basically it :)

I'm sure I have other things that are a bit more shallow...

like, I do want to take some family fun-weekend vacays if we can...

and other small things---but, really I just want to anchor our family in God. 

My biggest prayer is that my two boys grow up to love our Savior and our Creator with everything in them.

My prayer is that they become fishers of men, leading others to Him.

My prayer is that we fulfill HIS will for our lives, forever serving Him.

Happy 2014 my lovely readers! 

I hope I can also stay in touch better!

xoxo

-HK