Labor of Love: Kie's Birth Story

I am finally getting the chance to write about the crazy week and most importantly Kie's birth story.

As of right now, I'm one exhausted mommy.  And I do believe I won't be blogging as much as I'd like because I am trying to get adjusted to things, but do hope to report at least ONCE a week.

Baby Kie's Birth Story

It all started last Tuesday, the 3rd.  I was ONE productive momma.  I ran a million errands, putting up Halloween decorations and also looking for great Halloween 'steals'.  I went to Target, Wal-Mart, Goodwill, Half Price Books and even the bank.  I went looking for baby costumes for the next year.  But found nothing.  I did find a few Elmo Halloween baby books and even stocked up on some classic baby books (that I planned on gifting to Kie for Christmas). Tuesday afternoon was great.  House was cleaned from topped to bottom, I went grocery shopping and even made a yummy homemade chili for me and Justin.  

Justin got home for our dinner and I was feeling accomplished and great because all was done with my errands and with the house (laundry done, sheets changed, floors mopped and vacuumed!) I was so energetic!  I did happen to notice later that evening I was semi 'leaking'.  I thought that I was perhaps having issues with my bladder, so I dismissed it. But after another hour or so of this leaking, I decided maybe I should call a nurse.  The nurse informed me the doctor wanted to make sure this wasn't my amnio fluids leaking since two weeks ago I had a similar problem, so they told me to come to the hospital.  It was around 8:30 pm.

I decided I desperately needed a shower and shave my legs because MAYBE this could be the night.  Though I highly doubted it because I wasn't experiencing any contractions.  So Daddy Justin tidied up the already clean house, I showered, shaved my legs and even blow dried my hair.  (And even put a bit of makeup on, tho it would not matter soon.)

We got to the hospital around 10:30 pm or so and the doctor on call came in, took a look and said I was "without a doubt in labor."  Turns out I was 4 cm dilated!!!!!!!

Wow! I was so OVERJOYED that I already dilated to 4 CM without feeling any pain.

I had been having contractions for awhile and even during that day but nothing that didn't keep me from running around like a chicken with her head cut off.

So around 11 pm I called my parents to let them know we were having a baby!

Doctor predicted Kie would be here by morning :)

They whisked me away to my labor and delivery room and I changed into my fancy maternity gown. 

At 2 am they gave me some pitocin to speed up my contractions and help my cervix.  Man I was thinking how easy labor was.  11pm at 4 cm and now it was 2am and I was still feeling great!  Justin slept while I dosed off here and there but mainly I stayed awake just excited that I was going to SOON see my baby!

Around 4:30 am, my happy and excited world turned.  I was in immense pain and hurting, my contractions put me in a fetal position.  My nice clean hair and makeuped face was now pouring with sweat and tears.  I went from 4cm to 6 1/2 .  And I labored until 6am and requested my epidural.  It took a million tries to get it in, but it finally worked.  Thank you God for modern medicine!  (And thank you Lord for sweet nurses that let me squeeze them half to death.)  

Once the epidural set in, so did my shakes.  I was having a reaction to the epidural but it was a lot better than the pain that I was feeling.  

Soon my best friend Rachel Lee was there and so was Carter and Chelsea.  I was chatty and excited. 

Doctor informed me I would start pushing at 11am.  I got to 10 cm way quicker than they thought and they predicted I'd have Kie in my arms before noon!

They dismissed my company because time was coming to push.   And the epidural was making me nauseated so I was ready to get things started.   I knew all would be over soon!

I started pushing and didn't stop for two hours.  My epidural even stopped working and I continued to labor and push in immense pain.  My body was wearing out on me and I was losing hope quickly because the baby was not moving down.  

I pushed and pushed and pushed.  Two doctors came in and countless nurses to help me with different methods to push the baby out.  I tried holding on to rails, putting my legs in straps, and even pulling a tied sheet.  I was put on oxygen because Kie's heart rate went low and I was under distress.  I knew they'd soon be doing an episonomy.  My body was giving out on me and the stress was too much.

But I read the doctor's faces.  I was not having this baby vaginally.

They told me there was no way Kie could fit.  My pelvic bones were too small and crushing my son.  

I had given it my all and now I was realizing all my pushing was just hurting my unborn son.

They whisked me away to the OR.  I was having a cesarean.

They had to give me another epidural for the surgery since mine had stopped working.  I got the shakes bad once again and they had to mix in some other medicine to help with my low blood sugars. 

Soon I was on the table, tapped up, strapped up and bounded down. 

Now maybe I was going to meet my son!

Justin comforted me and he was so great.  He held my oxygen mask on me and talked to me about miniature ponies (I always wanted one) and puppies.  

The surgery and epidurals were making me sick to my stomach, but soon I heard my baby's cry!

They rushed Kie to his little baby station and started cleaning him.  I couldn't see him!  I heard the doctor's talking and knew something wasn't right.  The informed me he was going to another NICU downtown for further tests.  He was under extreme stress and had swelling and blood build up in his head.  ALL because my pelvic bones were too small and he was crushed against them!

My heart broke into a million pieces.  They wheeled my baby out and Justin followed.

I was left in the OR to be sewn up.  

They took me to the recovery room a half hour later.  I stayed there, baby-less for an hour.

The doctors informed me Kie looked fine but they'd had to take him for further tests.  They wheeled his incubator up to me for one minute.  He was all bundled and I couldn't touch him even if I wanted.  

That was Wednesday.

Wednesday I stayed in the hospital and also all day Thursday and Friday...trying to heal and recover.  

My heart was shattered.  I hadn't even touched my baby.

Justin spent that day and Thursday back and forth between me and Kie.  Kie's swelling in his head had went down and his vitals were looking good.  But since he had such a traumatic birth and all the blood loss in his head they needed to keep him under care. 

I of course wanted the best for him.  But I was trapped at another hospital miles away.  Helpless and still numb from all the medicine.

Thankfully my mom spent the nights with me and Justin spent the nights w/Kie.

Justin would film Kie and take pictures of him for me.  I looked forward to them but soon they started to make me cry.  I was in a depression and being next door to the nursery wasn't helping.  I didn't want to see other mothers with their babies.  I was stranded in my room, after having such a hard birth without a child.

Of course I was so thankful Kie was healthy and alive....but I still was depressed.


Friday, my doctor told me he was releasing me early because he knew I was worse off (emotionally) staying away from Kie.  I was released!! Thank the Lord!


Though I was in pain my heart was starting to heal just knowing I'd soon see my son!
Mom got me to St. David's as fast as she could.  Justin met us downstairs and wheeled me to the NICU.


I heard his crying and I started crying too.  I finally saw him! My sweet baby!


I was jealous of the nurse that was seemed so comfortable with the baby. But soon it was my turn to hold him!


Oh my heart exploded!  How could this sweet baby come from me?
So many emotions flooded me! From feeling guilty that I was gone away from him for 3 days. From pushing in labor and unknowingly hurting my son.




Ahhh....still my heart and head are filled with so many feelings.


That was Friday.  That night Kie was released to come home with us!!








Since then, we have been adjusting to being home! Being a family of 3, and me being a mother.


Breast feeding was hard after having the baby use to a bottle in the NICU....but we're getting there.
And we've been SO blessed and grateful that my mom was here to help us! She's been an angel and I pray to the sweet and merciful Lord that I'm half as good of mom as she is.


Unfortunately she left today! So tonight is our first night on our own!






My sweet baby is wonderful! He still has some bruises on his head but otherwise he is perfect! He has seen the doctor and all is well! He even is still at his birth weight! Thank goodness my milk is in and he feeds well!


Kie is one wonderful blessing and I thank God for him countless times a day.


I never, ever knew the love that would take over me.  The world has changed. My view of life has changed.  I was happy before, but now I'm so full of love and happiness.


I will post more pictures of Kie later! But for now I got a lil man that I gotta feed.


He is sleeping soundly on his Daddy's chest!




Until then--forever in love,


HK and Baby Kie

first day home :)

baby Kie in the NICU

apple of Daddy's eye

my sweet angel